Sunday, June 11, 2006

FOB June 8

I hereby post, with a sense of dogged determined duty, the proceedings of the Fobsters on the eighth day of June, on the two thousandth and sixth year of the "Roman" calendar. I do this solely for the purpose of hearing myself type, as this site shows definite signs of entropy.

The reknowned editorgirl absented herself from the proceedings, making this the fifth Fob in a row that we have failed to reach full capacity. There was much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth on both sides, though beyond that the two groups differed somewhat: editorgirl went to the ashes extreme whilst the Fobsters dabbled somewhat in sackcloth. Her clear voice of reason was missed greatly, and each of the Fobs took a moment to euologize her in a variety of creative ways (not soon will be forgotten Edgy's interpretive dance entitled "em-dashes for editorgirl").

Conversation around the Fob floor centered upon that ubiquitous subject - sex. Indeed, so free and loose was the conversation that even Tolkien Boy, who by all accounts has a rather miniscule conscience, felt badly afterwards and wished that he had not said half the things that he had said. Or, perhaps, thought. Though there was a lot of talk, however, there was very little action, and so there was no occasion for awkwardness afterwards.

The Fobsters were graced by the presence of non other than Foxy J herself, and her insightful comments elevated many a tangential discussion concerning the pooping habits of newborns and toddlers.

Surprisingly, none of the Fobs but Master Fob himself brought materials to be abused, so the majority of the time in Fob was spent criticizing Master Fob's excellent prose without giving him the opportunity to retaliate. Though an excellent strategy for warfare, this unfair situation where Master Fob gives and the rest of us castigates cannot go on for long. It is hoped that next Fob will see a reflowering of of the literate arts.

Following Master Fob's chapter, there was great debate on whether people who like Karen Carpenter
and are fat and hairy are allowed to wear Hello Kitty T-shirts. Edgy was most decidedly against, while Melyngoch and Tolkien Boy argued for. Master Fob provided his reasoning in his lucid way, and the Marchioness and Foxy J collaborated on a sacred feminine scheme to take over the world with nothing more than Jane Austen novels and knitting needles. By the end of the night, the score stood exactly the same, but each Fob inwardly committed to search their soul and the Internet for people who like Karen Carpenter and Hello Kitty T-shirts. The results are expected to be revealing.

Fob culminated (one might even say climaxed) when Melyngoch ran to Smiths and brought back no fewer than three different kinds of cookies in varying species. Inevitably a fight broke out over the soft chocolate chip genus, and Dec came from Salt Lake to officiate. With Dec's help, the Fobs ended the night still as friends, but Edgy is not likely to reach for a soft cookie at the same time as the Marchioness ever again.

And so, again we leave you from within the shadows of the everlasting hills (pun intended). May Fob be with you this day, and always.


Blogger Master Fob said...

"There must needs follow a reflowering after every deflowering." (Words of Fob 4:18)

6/11/2006 3:10 PM  
Blogger Queen Zippergut said...

Is that even possible??

Oh, sorry. I forgot the part about never questioning The Highest Leader Master Fob.

6/11/2006 4:55 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I like Hello Kitty T-shirts, but the only Carpenter music I ever listen to is Christmas music.

6/12/2006 10:06 AM  
Blogger Th. said...


But you're not fat and hairy, so I'm not sure you count.

Me on the other hand....

Anyway, I need Fobhelp. I gave Mel some indeterminate thoughts about the end of her book, and I stil haven't been able to figure out what I meant. Without fellow fobbers figuring out what I mean, it is likely I never will.

I just bought some delicious lemon cookies, Saturday. I have not shared with any of you. Nor do I intend to.

6/12/2006 7:06 PM  

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