Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Brief History of Fob Leading to the Creation of Fob Northwest

Just a little over three years ago, Th. (who I knew well), Queen Zippergut (who I didn't know well), and I (who I knew quite well) gathered at the then-Fobcave (though not yet named as such) for the first meeting of Fob (also not yet named as such). This was a rather scary experience, as I knew that Th. and I meshed well as far as writing and critiquing styles go, but QZ was for the most part an unknown--particularly, I didn't know how she and Th. would work together, as they had never met, and I feared they would hate each other. My fear, of course, was unfounded. That night a beautiful thing was born, a sort of mutant love child of three deranged writers. Or, perhaps, a reincarnation of the American Idol judges, with the Queen as Paula, Th. as Simon, and me, naturally, as the big black guy.

Four months later, Melyngoch made our literary menage-a-trois a menage-a-quatre. Again, I was concerned that she wouldn't get along with Th. or that QZ would resent no longer being the token female, but again, I had no reason to fear. It was about this time that we adopted our nom de group, an acronym for the Friends of Master Fob (who was still not yet named as such) and a nod to the new immigrants in my homeland of Hawaii, so lovingly referred to as Fresh Off the Boat.

Eight months after that, Th. had the nerve to pick up and move to California. I might forgive him for this, someday. We tried to replace Th., perhaps too quickly, and Jeph had the misfortune of having to live in a great man's shadow. He also had the misfortune of making it to only about one in three Fob meetings, and it wasn't long before he withdrew himself from the group completely.

At this point I was especially hesitant to branch out again, but I also felt we needed another male presence and Melyngoch assured me that her friend Tolkien Boy was a perfect match for Fob, and indeed he was. A new Fob was born, and we are all the better for it.

Then, a little over a year ago, Melyngoch had the nerve to move to (of all places) Indiana, for which I will not forgive her, and about the same time Queen Zippergut got engaged, which effectively removed her from all things fobby, and eventually removed her even more than effectively, as she moved to England to live with her hubby.

So here Tolkien Boy were without anybody to fob with us, feeling quite sorry for ourselves. So what better to do than invite a couple of complete strangers to join? Okay, Marchioness was not a complete stranger to me and editorgirl was not a complete stranger to TB, but they were, in fact, quite strange. It took a few Fob meetings to figure out our new dynamic, but once we did, Fob was again the love of my life (in a mostly nonsexual way).

Then came the well-documented Fob Explosion of '06, in which we went from four members to six members and a mascot, welcoming Gay (ex-)Boyfriend Chick's Straight Liberal But Happily Married Friend and Edgy Killer Bunny into our ranks, and adopting the ever loveable Gay (ex-)Boyfriend Chick (whom we affectionately refer to as Petra) as our cuddly, adorable mascot. ( I'm not sure exactly what it means to be a writing group's mascot, but perhaps Petra can elaborate on this deep mystery of life.)

Alas, this SuperFob met its end during the Great Fob Migration of '06, in which Master Fob and Tolkien Boy both moved to Seattle (and, you know, Petra moved to Indonesia, but really, this story is about me--let's not lose our focus here).

So TB and I had been planning for quite a while to start up a new branch of Fob here in Seattle, and we were happy to know that our frequent gym collaborator, Weed, was also moving here. So tonight we were planning the first meeting of the new Fob Three, and randomly Tolkien Boy decided to invite Sir Jupiter to observe Fob in action, and then randomly, after the evening went well and we all seemed to jibe nicely (we also jived nicely), I decided to invite Sir Jupiter to join Fob permanently (and when I say "permanently," I mean he better know there's no escape now). And he accepted the invitation. So we are the Fob Four. Welcome to a new era of Fob, my friends. Can you smell the testosterone?

PS Melyngoch will be happy to know, even though we have yet to recruit a straight black man into Fob, Tolkien Boy did write tonight about a "black brick wall of a man" who is, apparently, good in bed.

PPS And then it turned out that I was gay.

PPPS the above PPS will not make any sense to anyone who was not here tonight. I would explain it so as not to leave out my non-Northwest fobs, but really, once you explain something it just isn't funny anymore.

PPPPS Which is not to say that it's funny now, with you not understanding it at all.


Blogger Tolkien Boy said...

I've never jived nicely in my life. Edgy can attest to this.

10/11/2006 1:04 AM  
Blogger Edgy said...

Re PPS . . . Perhaps had you waited just a few hours to post, you could claim that said announcement was meant to coincide with today's National Coming Out Day.

Re TB . . . I cannot attest to that, considering that I have yet to witness TB's jive in action. I can, however, attest to his ability to write out the rhythm of the samba. (I do serve at least a small purpose in Fob.

Re Sir Jupiter and Weed . . . Welcome to the gang.

10/11/2006 10:40 AM  
Blogger Tolkien Boy said...

"Tolkers isn't quite so good at the jive talk. It leads to much amusement."

-Edgy Killer Bunny


10/11/2006 10:52 AM  
Blogger Edgy said...

Ahh. Well here I blame Fobby for the confusion considering his failure to specify what kind of jive he was talking about.

10/11/2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger Queen Zippergut said...

I want a Euro-FOB. It wouldn't be the same, though. Your Mom jokes don't translate into England English and heaven knows I am completely incapable of mentoring anyone in that art form anyway, having no capacity for telling said jokes myself. (Your mom told a joke!)(SEE WHAT I MEAN???)

Congrats on Fob Northwest. (She typed begrudgingly, jealousy dripping from her fingertips...)

And I like this Edgy. I wish I'd known him.

10/11/2006 12:37 PM  
Blogger Edgy said...

Your mom likes Edgy.


10/11/2006 12:57 PM  
Blogger Master Fob said...

Well, and Euro-Fob would no doubt be kind of trashy and run-down, and no one would go. And the Simpsons would make fun of it all the time.

10/11/2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger Master Fob said...

I believe the failure to clarify is on Tolkien Boy's part. I knew exactly what I meant.

10/11/2006 1:18 PM  
Blogger Melyngoch said...

So, you don't even bring up having to (or refusing to!) forgive Queen Z when she not only got married, but moved to another country, clearly demonstrating that (1) sex is more important to her than Fob and (2) her eternal salvation is more important to her than Fob.

And yet I, for the mere sin of moving to the Midwest, which is really not that far away, will never be forgiven. Hmmph.

Hmmph, I say.

I hate you all.

(By which I mean I love and miss you. Midwest Fob someday please?)

10/11/2006 10:00 PM  
Blogger Th. said...


Fob East Bay is now accepting applications.

10/12/2006 12:57 PM  
Blogger Queen Zippergut said...

Master FOB...do you charge a franchise fee? Fob International. I can see it now. FOB handbooks including secret handshakes, membership dues, rock-paper-scissors instructions, etc. Hmmm...

10/14/2006 9:15 AM  
Blogger Queen Zippergut said...

Your mom has a franchise!

D-OH!! Still can't get it right...

10/14/2006 9:18 AM  
Blogger Edgy said...

I Frenched your mom's ice.

10/14/2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger Th. said...



10/17/2006 1:04 PM  

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