FOB October 10

At long last, the vagaries of vagrants and vissicitudes of vissicitudinals have calmed down, and FOBWashington is in full swing here in the dripping and cold pine forests of the Pacific Northwest! In reaction to the news, a parade was instituted in Ottoro, Maine, where the United Order of Housewives for Amicable Fobbery (UOHAF) commissioned floats, a town hall dance, and Lauryn Hill as Mistress of Ceremonies. Residents as far away as Mumford and Bildings Romane attended the festivities, and an official statement of support of FOB was drafted, ratified and hung in a gilt frame in the local courthouse.

Spirits were no less high at the home of Master Fob and Foxy J, where the newly consituted FOBWashington group met, partook of fudge ripples, and argued about the relative ickiness of the phrase"around her ankles." Tolkien Boy and newbie Sir Jupiter technically arrived first, but a quest for Oreos led them to Bartell's Drugs (motto: "Convenience in the Form of Single-Wrapped Cookies"), QFC (motto: "Despite the Name, We Are Not a Fast-Food Chicken Franchise"), and finally Safeway (motto: Use Our Card or Face The Mutated Aardvarks of Death"), and so they arrived both before and after the Weed family, but as their later arrival was laden with both the aforementioned Oreos and ice cream, they were greeted with relative joy and thanksgiving.

After introducitons and a quick round of "your mom" jokes to prime the pump, Master Fob described the intricacies of the rock, paper, scissors ritual, and the new acolytes were indoctrinated and then invited to join the rite. The sanctity of the practice was called into question somewhat by Tolkien Boy, who revealed that Master Fob consistently repeats the same sequence in his ritual performance. Due to this, the order of the evening was less than randomly organized.

Since everyone was rock-shy, Master Fob started the action off with a lengthy treatise on what can happen to a closely-knit group after a telephone pole comes through thier pickup truck. Despite a depressing lack of tags, the story of Master Fob managed to communicate an important message, and that message was...he turned out to like Karen Carpenter.

Following on Master Fobs heels (or would it be fobollowing?), Weed read a poem about childbirth that would have sent Melyngoch screaming towards the nearest mountain for safety. There was much question as to whether "munching on nipples" was a sympathetic way of typifying newborns, but as said Melyngoch was not present, discussion was free and easy. To commemorate the poem, Tolkien Boy drew an oviraptor (for ironic effect), which Sir Jupiter one-upped by drawing Barney.

Tolkien Boy then startled the Fob with a horror story that failed to horrifying, but instead included a Harlequin-esque sex scene that included, much to the author's chagrin, the phrase "trapezoidal muscles." It is hoped that any further output by the author will be limited to humorous fairy tales.

FOBWashington parted with many a promise to meet together soon, promising that the many, many fans in Ottoro will not have to wait too long for a reunion tour.