Get your vocabulary right, you Big Appler!

.

(If you haven't responded to Tolker's post yet, do that first. I just had to get this off my chest now, while I'm still annoyed.)

.

I am currently reading Miss Misery by Andy Greenwald and it's a good read so far. He's a good writer (even if he shares an irritating habit with that other good writer, Ben) and the book is interesting so far. But I'm pissed off about something.

I knew from reading the bookflap that one of the characters was a girl from Salt Lake. Then, in the opening pages, that girl said this:

"It felt like when I went to temple with my parents when I was still too little to start hating it and I believed whatever I heard there came directly from a higher power."

So then I thought oh cool, a Salt Lake Jew. That is New and Interesting.

Dozens of pages later I learned that her parents intend a BYUcentric future for her and I realized that no, she's Mormon, just this Greenwald yahoo didn't even bother to do a simple google to see if he had his vocabulary straight.

Oh, I find that annoying.

I don't have anything against people writing Mormon characters, but I expect them to be Mormon. Is that too much to ask?

Because I belong to a much-screwed-up religion, I may be extra sensitive to this. But whatever the reason, I am sensitive and I try hard not to make mistakes like suggesting Mormon kids "go to temple." For instance, in my current project, I have a Nazarene character and she mentions seeing her pastor/minister/whatever. I'm not sure. But you can be sure I'll consult Google to find out what the heck that guy's called before anyone else reads it. Fortunately, we don't see the any scenes where they get churchy, so my research can end there. But if we did, I would make every effort to make my Nazarene readership feel like I had done my homework. Ideally that I must be a Nazarene myself.

Grrrrrr.....

I hope you're all doing your homework....

Love,

Theric

In Which We Focus (For Once) On Tolkien Boy's Writing, Darn It

Hi, friends. While we're waiting for the thrilling conclusion of the FOB MAD LIBS (trust me when I say it's worth the wait, as it's already given me at least an hour of enjoyment), I wondered if I might take a moment to talk to you about something near and dear to all of our hearts.

I am referring, of course, to Tolkien Boy's writing. Most specifically, the writing that he has already written. I'm getting to the point that I realize that it's not only a self-affirming activity for me to publish--it's also enormously beneficial to my career goals. Hence, I need to become more serious about my publishing activities. I would bring this up in FOB, but many of you that know much about the writing world--coughThericEdgyeditorgirlcough--aren't here. I hope that by opening it up in this more geographically-inclusive format will get me answers that are more conclusive.

I have a number of finished stories, and I wonder if you have any suggestions where they could be sent as per publication. At last count, I have:

A serious science fiction story about a woman in a futuristic society whose high-tech outfit convinces her to kill her best friend.

A humorous story about a young married couple who turn into animals at night, and have to find a way out of their dilemma.

A serious, even dark, story about a girl who creates a love potion to seduce a young man who in actuality loves Karen Carpenter (so to speak).

A serious, realistic story about two young men deciding whether they love or hate each other.

A serious science fiction story about a young man coming of age in a post-apocalyptic world (in this case, the apocalypse is a plague).

A humorous, fairy-tale-like story of a powerful but clueless king of the sky who falls in love with a milk maid.

A serious, slightly melodramatic story about a young man who saves another young man from suicide and then becomes emotionally wrapped up in his despair.

If any of you could reccommend magazines or other formats where these stories might fit, I'd really get a leg up in the quest for publications to send to. School work is dying down some, and I finally have the time I need to focus on this.

And, for those of you who don't have a suggestion, remember there's nearly half a week left in the MAD LIBS rush! Tell your friends and neighbors. Well, your friends, at any rate.

FOB MAD LIBS

All right, everyone. As we haven't had FOB for weeks now, and as I'm beginning to get scurvy from lack of the citric-acid criticism I'm used to, I thought we might have some fun playing some FOB MAD LIBS. So, if you want to play along, either post your answers on the FOBlog or email them to me.

FOB MAD LIBS
from "Danette, Me, and the Messy Kiwi of Love"

Adjective:
Noun:
Noun (plural):
Noun:
Noun:
Verb:
Noun (plural):
Noun (plural):
Adjective:
Proper Name:
Superlative Adjective:
Noun:
Adjective:
Noun:
Noun:
Article of Clothing:
Adjective:
Verb:
Article of Clothing:
Noun:
Article of Clothing:
Adjective:
Article of Clothing:
Verb:
Place:
Verb:
Noun:
Verb:
Noun:

This special, limited-edition FOBlog fun will only run a week--so be speedy, and be clever!

Help with Egotism

I vaguely remember a quotation, probably from my creative writing theory class at BYU and possibly from The Fourth Genre (though a scan of the book did not produce the desired quotation), to the effect that it takes a special sort of egotist to write memoir/personal essay--the idea being that you have to assume that people would be interested in reading about you. Does this ring a bell (speaking to editorgirl specifically but to the world generally)?

This is just to say

I took Theric's challenge, sent in my poetry and SASE, and yesterday I received my first rejection slip.

It feels good.

The Broken Arms (a gushing review)

.

Tolkien Boy, that bastion of the perfectly sculpted internet essay, has released a copy of his personal favorites in book form. Besides being the first Fob to (finally) investigate POD publishing, he has single handedly saved the Ottoro economy which, previous to this moment, had seriously considered giving up Christmas 2006 as a lost cause, there being no decent Fob paraphernalia to give their loved ones (having given each other the Master's essay last year). (Although one wonders what they have against tshirts.)

At any rate, the book has an excellent introduction (which I recommend) and a fine dedication (which I can't stop reading) and is a necessity for every Fob Lover's collection.

(also available in paperback)